wRECk-reation

Because of my foot issues that have not yet subsided, I am forced to use the workout room instead of the indoor track at my local recreation center. This upsets me for a number of reasons first and foremost being hygiene issues. I don’t know what is so difficult about wiping down machines that you have just sweat all over but apparently, it’s very taxing. For this reason, I wipe down everything I use before and after I am on it, just to be safe.

Also troubling are the noises that some people make in this room. There are both cardio machines (bikes, elliptical, etc.) and weights in the same area. I don’t think I have ever once felt the need to grunt while doing strength exercises but, that seems to be the common sound of choice to make while lifting. The way to avoid hearing this is to turn up your ipod as loud as possible. However, if your ipod volume is considerably high, you will not be able to hear when other people talk to you. I take the following conversation as an omen to just ignore any future contact. People will stop talking to you if you ignore them when they notice you have headphones in.

Let me paint you a little picture. I’m getting on my stationary bike, minding my own business and an old lady flops onto a recumbent bike two spots down from me. She has to be in her 70’s and has her hair pulled into a tight bun. Her neck is adorned by a beaded necklace which is completely inappropriate for the gym. She’s got on a red shirt and black pants, neither of which I would classify as workout wear, and no bra to speak of. A portly person, she also has lipstick far outside her lips and in general, looks about 6 shades of crazy. I’m trying not to stare as she makes a comment about the Bengals score but then says, “Oh, you have your headphones on.” Stupidly, I pull out one of the buds:

Ashley: I’m sorry?

Crazy Lady: I just was wondering what the score is.

Ashley: They haven’t shown it yet but I think it’s zero zero.

Crazy Lady: Do you go to Centerville or a different high school?

A bit thrown, I’m not too sure how to respond. Yes my hair is pulled back but does hair being down really age me? Also, I’m wearing a wedding ring. This should be a clue for her.

Ashley: Uh, no I’m 26.

Crazy Lady: Oh, what college do you go to?

At this point I can’t decide if I should be offended or flattered. At first, she knocked 10 years off my age, and now she has no concept of how old college graduates are.

Ashley: I graduated college 4 years ago.

CL: Where do you work?

Honestly by now, I am trying to figure out if there is any way for me to just leave the room. Quit talking to me so I can get on with my workout, weirdo.

Ashley: I work down in Cincinnati.

CL: You drive down there every day?

Ashley: Yes.

As she crosses herself…..

CL: Bless your heart. My son is a lawyer and he works 24 hours a day trying to hold onto his job.

Ashley: That’s too bad.

Pedal, pedal, pedal. Thankfully she stopped talking to me and I went about my business. She may have said something else to me later on, much like the lady who asked me if I could also squirt her paper towels when I was cleaning my machine because she couldn’t find the spray. What is wrong with these people? That’s the problem with rec centers. Every geriatric gets a membership because it’s cheap and they don’t know proper gym etiquette. Also, some old man stared at me while I was doing squats. I was facing him. I’m not sure if that makes it more or less creepy. I wanted to tell him to take a picture and it would last longer but I just pretended I didn’t see him looking. Rough.