You don't have to floss all your teeth...

I had my semi-annual check up at the dentist this afternoon. I don't mind the dentist. I especially like how my teeth feel after a thorough cleaning. I actually enjoy when they scrape my teeth because it erases those coffee stains. I've been trying to only drink one cup a day but, let's face it, that's not going so well. 5:30 am + 1 cup of coffee = Grumpy Ashley. Anyway, I got there early so I had to wait. Then, I had to wait in the chair. This is a sort of fancy dentist with TV's in the exam rooms. I always bring a book so I don't need to rely on the television. Good thing too. It was on Family Guy and no one gave me the remote. We all know how I feel about "adult" cartoons, and if you don't know, I despise them.

Anyway, I was prepared for some excessive touching from the dentist. Last time John went the dentist rubbed his shoulder when he asked, "Hey, how's it going?" He was trying to pick up my man! I always forget to look for a ring so I don't know if he's married. Regardless, everyone there is really chipper, to the point of irritation. When I ask, "How are you?" They say, "EXCELLENT!" And I want to reply, "That's nice. I had a crappy day and now I'm here instead of at home. Let's get this over with." So, my hygienist went to work and lo and behold, it wasn't the dentist with the over-touching, it was the hygienist! I had the bib on, of course, and every time she scraped my teeth and went to wipe the tool on the bib, she wiped it on my boob! Now, of course there were many layers between pokey tool and actual boob but the point is, I don't need to be punctured, lady. Ease off! I'm not paying extra for that.

Happy to report....no cavities but they are still watching the root canal I got 2 years ago. Thanks a lot, shoddy dentistry! If I have to have that root canal redone I will cry for a long time.