Monday, December 7, 2009

Open Letter to Victoria's Secret

Dear VS,
I recently purchased 2 pairs of Flatter Me pantyhose from your stores. This morning, I opened one of the packages and slid the left leg up when I was dismayed, to say the least, to already find a hole in the toe. My great toe was peeking out at me. Imagine my disappointment as this, I believe I mentioned, was a BRAND NEW pair that had never been worn. Between choices expletives and upon further inspection, I realized that there was stitching around this hole. What the what? This completely intentional.
By this point, my husband was laughing and pointing at my misfortunes. Because it was only the toe, which would have been hidden by my shoe, I proceeded to put on the right leg. No hole there. I am accustomed to wearing hose until there is a visible snag or run. If it's hidden by clothing or footwear, it's fair game. Only then did I read the packaging. Right below where you have printed "Control Top, Lace detail" etc. It says three small words. Sexy naked toe. Wha-huh? Sexy naked toe? Toe, singular. Not toes, plural. Just one. And apparently, having one toe poking out of your pantyhose is sexy.
Did you people come across some crazy market research that proves men like to see some (read: a) toe? At first I thought maybe these were made for peep-toe shoes, but no. I was a bit flummoxed mostly because it was only on the left foot. Sexy naked toe. Give me a break. All day I felt foolish. I polled others in my office who all found this inexplicable.
Please help. Why the intentional hole? Who likes this sexy naked toe?

Ashley (loyal, perplexed VS customer) other VS news............

Guest blogger appearance!!! John noticed something this weekend at Victoria's Secret (two different store locations) that he thought needed to be shared.

In conjunction with the blog about sexy toes, I wanted to include some observations I have had while shopping at VS. When shopping with Ashley, I like to observe other guys to see what they do to pass the time at stores like NY & Co., VS and Forever 21 ( I loathe Forever 21). Victoria’s secret always provides the best experience because all men fall into three categories when present in store with significant female companion.

Apathetic: This gentleman can be seen with hands in pocket, looking blankly around the store probably pondering why women need a store for underwear and bras when he can just go to target and buy a package of his desired underwear. Befuddled by the selection, color and variety, he stands silently waiting to move on.

The Closet Perv: I sadly fall under this category. We appear very similar to the apathetic man, except if you were to look more closely, you would see our eyes wander to the maid outfits, Mrs. Claus outfits and other naughtier selections in the store. This type of man can also sometimes be seen with a slight twinkle of disappointment in his eye when his significant female companion picks up a nude bra or a pair of cotton underwear, because he really wants her to go for the crazy stuff.

Brazen Man: This guy rifles through drawers, image be damned, looking for what he will take off of his wife that night. This past Saturday, I saw a man of perhaps 50 going through drawers, hangers and racks pulling off some crazy stuff. It was an amazing sight. Sure enough, all that crazy, impractical lingerie made into his wife’s hand, several pieces no less. Kudos to him!

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