Transportation Woes

Last week, my car started doing strange things. I took it to Saturn and had to drive around with a technician. This was slightly unnerving. I always feel as though my passengers are judging my driving. I don't feel I'm a poor driver; I just don't usually have an audience. On this co-piloted drive, of course, my car was behaving perfectly. I went on my merry way, stupidly optimistic that the problems would subside on their own. Saturday, I took it in for a routine oil change. In the 3 days prior, it seemed my problems had indeed gone away on their own. Fingers crossed anyway.

Forward to Monday and my darn Check Engine light comes on. I was disheartened at first but knowing that my car probably wouldn't have righted itself, I was glad that they now had something concrete to look at. I took it in today after work knowing full well that it costs $86 just for them to hook my boy Blue (that's my car) up to their handy machine that tells you why your lights come on.

I hadn't heard anything by the time I was supposed to so John called my new buddy Dale over at Saturn. I hate cars and I'm also car stupid. John's not a whole lot better in this area but he agreed to call and check on it anyway. He also deals with the unpleasant money situations in this marriage. He already knew he would be fielding the call about the bill for this service because if it was over $500 (my hopeful amount) there's a good chance I would start crying. I'm not usually a big crier but I will confess an embarrassing story. One time when I was younger, too young to be driving or have credit, I went to pick up some pictures I had developed at Drug Mart. For some reason, they were way more than I thought they were going to be and I didn't have enough money. I started crying in Drug Mart. I had to leave and ask my dad for more money. He had been waiting in the car for me. I'm pretty sure he laughed at my misfortune and sorrows. I can't really remember as it was quite some time ago. Thus, why I don't deal with unpleasant money situations.

I digress.

The whole blasted point is: it's now almost 9:00 pm and an hour ago, after they had been looking at Blue for 3 hours, they still didn't know the crux of the problem. They know it is transmission related, not a cheap fix, but can't say for sure how to repair it. THIS IS YOUR JOB, Saturn Technicians. You work on the same models of cars all day long. There are only so many issues that can possibly arise. They're keeping Blue overnight, and there's a good chance they'll also have to wait a few days for parts. Eff it. This sucks.

wRECk-reation

Because of my foot issues that have not yet subsided, I am forced to use the workout room instead of the indoor track at my local recreation center. This upsets me for a number of reasons first and foremost being hygiene issues. I don’t know what is so difficult about wiping down machines that you have just sweat all over but apparently, it’s very taxing. For this reason, I wipe down everything I use before and after I am on it, just to be safe.

Also troubling are the noises that some people make in this room. There are both cardio machines (bikes, elliptical, etc.) and weights in the same area. I don’t think I have ever once felt the need to grunt while doing strength exercises but, that seems to be the common sound of choice to make while lifting. The way to avoid hearing this is to turn up your ipod as loud as possible. However, if your ipod volume is considerably high, you will not be able to hear when other people talk to you. I take the following conversation as an omen to just ignore any future contact. People will stop talking to you if you ignore them when they notice you have headphones in.

Let me paint you a little picture. I’m getting on my stationary bike, minding my own business and an old lady flops onto a recumbent bike two spots down from me. She has to be in her 70’s and has her hair pulled into a tight bun. Her neck is adorned by a beaded necklace which is completely inappropriate for the gym. She’s got on a red shirt and black pants, neither of which I would classify as workout wear, and no bra to speak of. A portly person, she also has lipstick far outside her lips and in general, looks about 6 shades of crazy. I’m trying not to stare as she makes a comment about the Bengals score but then says, “Oh, you have your headphones on.” Stupidly, I pull out one of the buds:

Ashley: I’m sorry?

Crazy Lady: I just was wondering what the score is.

Ashley: They haven’t shown it yet but I think it’s zero zero.

Crazy Lady: Do you go to Centerville or a different high school?

A bit thrown, I’m not too sure how to respond. Yes my hair is pulled back but does hair being down really age me? Also, I’m wearing a wedding ring. This should be a clue for her.

Ashley: Uh, no I’m 26.

Crazy Lady: Oh, what college do you go to?

At this point I can’t decide if I should be offended or flattered. At first, she knocked 10 years off my age, and now she has no concept of how old college graduates are.

Ashley: I graduated college 4 years ago.

CL: Where do you work?

Honestly by now, I am trying to figure out if there is any way for me to just leave the room. Quit talking to me so I can get on with my workout, weirdo.

Ashley: I work down in Cincinnati.

CL: You drive down there every day?

Ashley: Yes.

As she crosses herself…..

CL: Bless your heart. My son is a lawyer and he works 24 hours a day trying to hold onto his job.

Ashley: That’s too bad.

Pedal, pedal, pedal. Thankfully she stopped talking to me and I went about my business. She may have said something else to me later on, much like the lady who asked me if I could also squirt her paper towels when I was cleaning my machine because she couldn’t find the spray. What is wrong with these people? That’s the problem with rec centers. Every geriatric gets a membership because it’s cheap and they don’t know proper gym etiquette. Also, some old man stared at me while I was doing squats. I was facing him. I’m not sure if that makes it more or less creepy. I wanted to tell him to take a picture and it would last longer but I just pretended I didn’t see him looking. Rough.

Tales of an Office Bathroom - Part 7

You know what I think I hate more than bathroom talkers? Walking into a bathroom that stinks to high heaven. I realize this is a hazard of using the restroom. Not everything comes out smelling like roses. It’s just a fact of human nature. There is something to be said, however, for not fouling up a public restroom. Others don’t buy into this. Oh, a public toilet? Let’s see what I can produce to make the next person’s visit as unpleasant as possible, they think. I think what’s even worse than walking into a particularly pungent restroom, however, is walking into the stall that has clearly just been vacated by the offender and thus making you the offendee. It’s like sitting in the scene of the crime, right? The smell just envelopes you and you try to hurry things up so you can get the heck outta there. At least, I do.

True story. One of my employees told me the other day that when he was washing his hands in the men’s room, a guy from the office across the hall walked in barefoot. I could think of no logical explanation to ever walk into a public restroom with no footwear. That is beyond disgusting. You couldn’t pay me to do that. We’ve got to get to the bottom of this, I said. It turns out, the barefoot bandit just had foot surgery. Oh, that’s plausible, you might be thinking. But, you’d be wrong! If someone just had their foot operated on, don’t you think it would be prudent to protect the area from foreign bodies? Where was the surgical boot? And why, if only one foot was the issue, would BOTH feet be bare? This same across the hall office person once handed my employee a newspaper on the way into the restroom and said, “Here, you can read this while you’re taking a dump.” Again, true story.

Sorry for the potty-related post. I’ll try to keep these to a minimum but I just had to share.

The Time Traveler's Wife

I wanted to read The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger before the movie came out. Well, at least before I saw it anyway. It took forever to work my way up the hold list, probably owing to the movie, but no matter. I’ve finally finished The Time Traveler’s Wife. I went in not really knowing what to expect. Clare Abshire and Henry DeTamble weave quite a web together as their lives intertwining through Clare’s perfectly normal chronological life and Henry’s ever-skipping one, explained by a genetic disorder. They meet with Clare is six and continue on throughout their lives together. I don’t want to give away too much of the story so I can’t really get very in depth with the summary. I’m sure you’ve seen the trailer.

This love story/science fiction novel is usually met by reviewers who either loved it or hated it. While I didn’t love it, I find myself in the middle ground. I do, however, lean much more toward love than hate. I’m stuck in like. I really liked both of the main characters Niffenegger created. Her supporting cast was well executed too. However, I’m not super into science-based novels and this one had a LOT of scientific roots carefully hidden by romance. I think my main issue is that I am, apparently, too dense to understand time travel. I had this problem with the most recent season of Lost as well. I’m not crazy about themes where you can just change all the rules whenever you feel like it. Obviously, so you will get the feel of time traveling, TTW jumps around constantly. That, I got used to and in the end it really did help to move the story forward. I will warn you, it’s a long one. It took me awhile to really get into it but by the end, it was quite a page turner. So, I do recommend it. Just know what you’re getting into.

Open Letter to Coffeemate

Dear Coffeemate,
You make delicious creamers for coffee. I really appreciate your craftsmanship and variety of flavors (though I think you could branch out in your fat free options). What I do not appreciate is that it is now the 5th day of October and I cannot find your seasonal Pumpkin Spice creamer anywhere! According to your website, it will not be released to stores until November. Why then, I ask, was my mother in law able to find this delectable treat almost a month ago? Are you having distribution issues in southern Ohio? It's not as if we are in the middle of nowhere down here. We have multiple metropolises (metropolae?) and yet you feel we are not worthy of your autumnal flavors.
I tried your tiramisu (blech) and I was less than pleased with your blueberry cobbler (skip) but this, the holy grail of Coffeemate creamers, second only to your Peppermint Mocha and perhaps your Gingerbread -- flavors of a Christmas variety -- brings me great joy. Please, I beg of you, please get Pumpking Spice in stores post haste.

Thanks,
Ashley

Down for the count

Try as I might, I did not avoid John's cold germs and now, I'm sick. Somehow, thankfully I guess, I bypassed the sore throat stage. I am now in the congested head general feeling of ass phase of this cold. I'm annoyed because being sick really derails all plans of exercise. I was hoping October would be the month to jumpstart my weight loss but I guess my body had other plans. Oh well, here's to a healthier week ahead.

Product RAVE!

If you're like me, you buy whatever shaving gel/cream you have a coupon for or is on sale. Despite the fact that we're coming into cooler months which means less shaving (what? I'm lazy), I have the BEST product to tell you about. Skintimate's new Moisturizing Cream Shave. It is absolutely uh-amazing. I have never ever had smoother legs. After I got out of the shower and felt them I was floored! Luckily, I have another coupon when this bottle is empty but, I may have to change my ways and practice a little brand loyalty. I can't find a good picture to post here but they're not shaped like the normal cans. It's a plastic bottle that's kind of curvy with the rest of the shaving stuff. On the bottle it says "noticeably softer legs" and they're right! Way to go Skintimate.

In other shower news.....I forgot to tell you about this candidate running for trustee or something in the next town. His name is, wait for it, Harry Drain. Come on. What were his parents thinking? It's not as if drains are a new thing to be invented after his birth. Vote for Harry Drain!