Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Wardrobe Malfunction

Over the next couple months, John and I will be spending multiple weekends back home with family for a myriad of reasons. While we don't love that 3 1/2 hour drive (especially with Sadie sitting on my bladder), we do like seeing family and friends and spending time in our hometown that seems so changed since we left. When we head north, we typically bunk with my in-laws. This is fine except when it comes to pajama time. At home, I just throw on whatever is clean and comfortable. It usually involves some sort of lounge pant and a tank top. Said tank top does not typically have a shelf bra. It's just more comfortable without one, okay? I'm not very well-endowed in that area so I feel like I can get away with it, except in mixed company.

Sitting around the breakfast table with my two teenage bros-in-law and my husband's parents is not really the time to be hanging free. It's also not the time for a low cut tank top for fear of a nip slip (that's right, I said nip slip). "Can you pass me the syrup? And also would you care to see more of my lady parts than you bargained for?" This has not yet happened to me but I'm afraid it will. So, what I'm left with is wearing a t-shirt, which results in some serious free boobin', or a tank top sans shelf bra which may result in a nip slip. Neither choice acceptable.

You can understand the direness of the situation, I'm sure. So, when I was in Florida, I continued my hunt for a non-spaghetti strap tank top with shelf bra. I wanted something cotton, not too tight, and with thicker straps. This, to me, was not a tall order. My mom even said it could be part of my birthday present. You know what that means. Free! But folks, we went absolutely everywhere looking for this very specific top. Much to my chagrin, I was thwarted at every turn. Even a large set of outlet stores could not present this holy grail of PJ. Did you know that they just don't make tank tops with thicker straps and shelf bras? If you know where to get one, PLEASE let me know.

However, we eventually found what both mother and daughter deemed to be a suitably modest top at TJ Maxx. I believe it's probably a yoga top but that means it fits the aforementioned bill. It's a racerback and it's tie-dye, which I wouldn't normally wear (tie dye, not racerback. I love a good racerback tank because I'm pretty into my shoulders these days and a racerback perfectly accentuates them....I digress) but I think it's pretty cute. Well, I put it on tonight after my shower and upon closer inspection, I thought you could see some nip. BLAST! I asked John for a second opinion. He confirmed that the top did not show anything it wasn't supposed to but that the coloring on the tie-dye on the right side is very precariously placed so that it looks like you can indeed see something that takes breakfast from PG to Rated R in a hot second. At least it's comfortable, even if I can only wear it in the comfort of my own home. The search continues..... And fast! Our next trip is for Mother's Day in less than 2 weeks.

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