Thursday, February 18, 2010

Tales from the Office Bathroom

It's been awhile since something crazy happened in the bathroom at work. Well, at least something crazy that I reported to you. There's always something going on in there! At the end of the day today, I went to the bathroom to rinse out the coffee pot. There was a woman from another office at the second sink washing her hands. We'll call her Jill. Jill is a whack-a-doo. No joke. She's often in the bathroom crying or holding her head in her hands. She can also often be found pacing the halls shouting at someone on her cell phone. The language on this one! She honestly wanted to check herself into the psych ward the other day. She's nuts. I try my darnedest not to make eye contact with her when I see her. I don't like to invite crazy in. One of my employees is, apparently, more caring than I, because sometimes she'll get sucked into Jill's nuttiness and ask, "What's wrong?" Oh the stories she tells.

Anyway, I dump out the coffee and start rinsing.

Anne: That's all the good stuff. (she's smiling, which is rare)
Ashley: Oh, I'm sorry I would have saved it for you. (I say in a joking tone. I have to tread lightly here.)
Anne: That part has the most get up and go.
Ashley: Well, there'll be more tomorrow.

Then she leaves and I breathe a sigh of relief. I go into the stall because I go to the bathroom after I wash the coffee pot before my long drive home. No one else was in the bathroom but when I was in the stall, someone did come in. Mystery person says:

MP: There's my girl with the pretty long blonde hair.


Having heard the voice, I know that it's this annoying woman in yet another office, my bathroom BFF --in her eyes, and I can only assume she's speaking to me. Though she did not see me. Because I am not a stall talker, I flat out refuse to get sucked into a conversation mid-pee and I ignore her. I'm also slightly confused about whether she's speaking to me. My hair is only nearly shoulder length.

BBFF: Always cleaning out that coffee pot.

I still ignore her. I think when I didn't respond to her first comment, she was trying to make me realize it was her because when she sees me in the bathroom at the end of the day, she always, always comments on my cleaning of the coffee pot. Because this is fascinating?

At this point, she goes into her own stall and I get the heck out of dodge. I flush and then wash my hands as quickly as possible. She probably thinks I'm rude for not responding but I don't care. I don't talk in the stall, and neither should you.

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