Tuesday, October 25, 2011

To ponder....

If you lose touch with a friend, when or how is it appropriate to attempt a reconnection? If you haven't spoken to them in over a year and you have no idea why, do you blame yourself for something you may have done (but what? WHAT?!), or do you blame them for not keeping up their end of the friendship bargain either? I suppose it depends on how close you were in the first place, yes? I'm sure we all have friends that we may only see back in our hometowns during the holidays. You play catch up over a couple drinks at the local pub and it's not at all awkward. What if, perchance, you are attempting to reconnect with someone you would make specific plans with? Not someone you would just meet by happenstance. How is that first greeting not going to be slightly awkward? Especially after a rather significant time gap.

When is it ever appropriate to say, "Hey, those messages I left and emails I sent......sooooo I guess you didn't want to respond to them?" I understand people get busy but when do you not matter quite enough to even garner a simple "I've been swamped but glad to hear from you"? Perhaps I'm reading too much into these things. The problem is, when you don't have that many friends to begin with, you really can't afford to lose any. It is imperative to hold onto each and every one.

Why is it that as children and throughout high school, your friends are the very most important people in your lives? You see them all day at school and then MUST speak to them for hours on the telephone in the evening. As we grow older, why does that importance fade away? I suppose friendship, like any other relationship, must be fostered and nurtured. Even if you used to be very close with someone, people's lives and priorities change. You wonder if you should fight your way into the small corner of their lives working to push you out.

You know what no one ever tells you when you're young and have gads of friends? When you're older, it becomes increasingly more difficult to find and make friends. If you are still young....HEAR THIS NOW......When you have exhausted co-worker possibilities, you are left with few options. You can join a club or be part of a church. You could stalk cool looking people at the mall and accidentally pick up the same shirt off the rack they were just perusing and have a good laugh together (this is not advised as it can easily backfire and Security may be called). You can maybe take some sort of craft or aerobics class (my drug of choice). But even all these are not foolproof. It's hard to make connections at random, I've found. It's best to start with similar interests and spark conversation from there. Smiling is crucial. Also, try not to come off needy. New friends don't like that. At no point should you whine to them, "I have zero friends. Want go out for lunch?"

I try not to ramble too much on my blog but sometimes, after John has heard everything one too many times, I have to turn to other outlets. Hence the reason, I could use some more friends.

.....maybe this is just me, but I'm guessing it's not.....

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