A Snake in the Grass

(10 pts if you know the first thing I thought of when typing this post’s title)

On Monday, John and I were walking Sadie in our neighborhood when I noticed some movement in the grass next to my feet as I was walking. Did you see that? I asked him. No, he says. I don’t know what it was but there was an animal in the grass. When we turn around, you’re walking on this side. Ever the protector, he willingly switched sides when I remembered about 10 paces from the site of the first incident on our return. And good thing I did! RUN RUN RUN, he shouts. And I take off down the sidewalk with Sadie, who I think would have preferred to stay and fight. I look back over my shoulder and see him stamping on the sidewalk presumably scaring away the animal. We must have been a sight! He jogs to catch up with me and says, You were right. It was a snake. I shivered with the heebee jeebees and asked if we should continue running. He laughed at me (LAUGHED!) and said, No. I was convinced we were being followed by this snake in the grass. How big was it? Oh, he says holding his hands a foot apart, about this big. More heebee jeebees. Folks, I run or walk this route nearly every day. What am I to do? When meeting this creature alone I will certainly not be brave. Should Sadie come across him she will certainly go after him and I will not be reaching in her mouth after this slithery fellow. I could never be a herpetologist for snakes are my biggest fear. Please do not use this to your advantage in playing a cruel joke on me in the future. What was he doing so close to the sidewalk anyway? It’s a relatively busy sidewalk. Maybe 5-10 passersby an hour, not some remote location. And it’s near a busy road. Oh my. I am faklempt. I am not really scheduled to run for another few days, perhaps he will have moved on by then. Guys, this was no Bob Fosse Snake in the Grass (10 more pts. If you’re doing the snake dance) and so I am extremely frightened.

In not so scary news……the bathing suits I ordered arrived and they FIT! Now, save for new sunglasses, I am ready for vacation.