If you run out of spoons at work, you should just forgo your afternoon yogurt, instead of trying to eat it with a fork. You will almost certainly end up with a glob or two on your pants.
When making an eye appointment, don’t tell them you have contacts, even if you do. They will immediately double the charge for less work.
If running when sunny, be sure to wear a visor. This helps catch sweat and stops you from squinting. Be aware that if windy, the visor may blow off your head and taunt you as it bounces down the sidewalk.
When your waitress at a restaurant is someone you think you went to high school with but whom you did not actually know in high school, resist the urge to stare. This is off-putting to said person and they may find you strange. You will feel it necessary to tip better. You don’t have to, unless you’re a bad tipper to start. In which case, double it.
Try to avoid re-working your budget on pay day. You will think you have gobs of money. You don’t.
Crossing your legs Indian-style at work is comfortable, but unprofessional. If you must, make sure your desk is enclosed so you can fool passersby. Taking your shoes off under your desk is okay as long as no one can see your feet. And only if you put them back on to move about the office. And only if your feet don’t smell.
Cheez-its, though similar in color, should not be used as a substitute for an orange. They do not count as a fruit on the Food Pyramid.
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